Had a bizarre dream last night! I had just had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, I had a near death experience.
Seeing God, I asked “Is my time up?”
God said, “No, you have another 13 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, I decided, what the hell, I’ll beat the crap out of my opponents, starve my people and threaten war against my people. I even decided to arrest the opposition leaders and try them for treason. Since I had so much more time to live, I figured I might as well make the most of it.
After I stole the election and was inaugurated I was riding back to a visit Katuma with the missus. While crossing a busy intersection we were hit and crushed by one of my new Mercedes anti-riot vehicles.
Arriving in front of God, I demanded, “I thought you said I had another 13 years? Why didn’t you divert me from the path of my new Mercedes anti-riot vehicles?”
God replied, “You hadn’t asked me to remove you from power yet!”
PS: Was just handed the ANC press release. Those half-baked Blair-Bush boot-lickers!! I was fighting the limey imperialist B’staads while most of them were still an annoyance in their father’s nether regions. I hope they do lose the sodding 2010 World Cup!!!!