July 22- Missing my vocation

I was sitting in the La-Z-Boy watching Fox News, my favourite source of Fair And Balanced coverage around the world. I’m looking forward to the day that we can open a bureau for them in Harare. I can see myself as a latter-day Bill O’Reilly:

Moron Tsvangirai: You’ve slain thousands of innocent people
Comrade Bob: Shut up.
Morgan T.: But you’ve lost an election in front of the whole world… Why don’t you just step down gracefully?
Comrade Bob: Shut the fuck up.
Morgan T.: Telling me to “shut up”… that’s all you have, isn’t it?
Comrade Bob: Shut up.

Heh heh. I think I could’ve missed my vocation. Speaking of missed vocations, what about Jesse Jackson?!? I saw him discussing Darth Vader Obama (white man on the inside, covered by a black, plastic veneer) and I have to say, I like the cut of his jib. I had never even thought of cutting people’s balls off… What a fantastic idea! I’ve beaten the soles of their feet to a pulp, scolded them with molten plastic, raped their families… but CUT THEIR BALLS OFF… Yes!! The perfect policy prescription for the New Zimbabwe. I have invited the liberation hero onto my negotiating team post haste.

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