I was really getting concerned about this money problem. I need more paper than an army of diarrhoea-sufferers after a night on the beef Vindaloo… first, our spineless Bavarian friends at Giesecke & Devrient buckle under international pressure and abandon me. Now, the British Independent newspaper has rumbled the Vienna-based software company, Jura JSP, who has been supplying the licences and software used to design and print our beautiful, plentiful Zimbabwe dollars. Doubtless, they’ll crumble like the feeble, peacenik pissants that we all know the Austrian people are.
I thought we might go under. Thankfully, Gideon has come up with a cunning plan. It turns out that through the wonder of the interweb, the games company Hasbro allows ANYONE to download and print Monopoly money from their website. Inspired! Gideon said that he thinks he can get his nephew, Robert Gabriel Gono to change the font size so that we can add a few dozen more zeros, and maybe even get my glorious, handsome visage on the bills… What a genius! Give that man a farm!!!