August 30 – 19 Suitcases of money

7.30am Statehouse, Harare Zimbabwe

Grace; ‘Bobby come down out of that office and have some breakfast!’

RM; ‘No woman, didn’t you hear me the first time? I’m not hungry!’

Grace; ‘You’re not still stewing about the opening of Parliament are you? That was last Tuesday for Christ sake!’

RM; ‘No it is not that, now just leave me alone!’

Doesn’t that blonde bimbo get it? Sometimes a guy just wants time alone. Yes I am hacked off, but not about how the MDC behaved in parliament. I figured I get my thugs out to teach the English school boy wannabes what it really means to be buggered!

No, what I am angry about is that Emerson wouldn’t let me give the speech I wanted to give yesterday at the ceremony for that swimmer, Kristy Coventry. Emerson rewrote what I had written and really didn’t give the meaning I was trying to convey. His rewrite said:

‘Our national spirit must exude joy and pleasure and say you have done well,
daughter of Zimbabwe. We are proud of you, we wish you well. She’s our
golden girl … take care of her’.
My original said:

Hey, what’s the matter with the brothers? Our national spirit has been shamed as it was only this white b***h that done won the gold! She ain’t no Zimbabwean, the tart don’t even live here! We’re ashamed that we need to acknowledge this honkie girl. Make sure the War Veterans take care of her.’
Now I ask you, does Emerson’s version really convey the same spirit as mine?
I wasn’t too sure about giving that cracka $100,000 US for winning those medals, but watching Gideon have to give up that suitcase filled with the money made it all worthwhile! I thought we were going to have pry his hands off the handle he was gripping it so hard. The brother’s knuckles were turning white! The money was $100,000 that he had pilfered from some businesses’ foreign currency account. He thought that I didn’t know about it and planned to send that money out to his account in Dubai, but I caught just before he could send it out and told we needed it for that white chick.
He tried to pull a fast one on us when he pulled up earlier in the day in a Reserve Bank armoured truck with 19 suitcases. When I asked him if that was $100,000 US, he said’ ‘yes it is!’. I had someone check and it turned out, he had filled the suitcases with Zimbabwe dollars. So, I had to send to get the real thing. Right up until he gave it to the honkie girl I thought we might see them wrestle for it!

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