June 17 – Happy Endings

Do people not understand that the life of the modern-day dictator is not just fun and games?  Especially when one is trying to rig (sorry, reeducate) an election.  It is all work work work!!  In the old days we just called the heavies in from the jungle and let them do the lifting.  Today, you have to fabricate evidence, forge documents and employ a lacky to handle all the bothersome enquiries from the imperialist media, lapdog NGOs and banana-stealing US presidential candidates.  Don’t these bastards know I have better things to do with my time!!???


I have been so busy that I have had to cancel my scheduled trip to China to have a complete blood transfusion (my third .  I guess that is not all bad, I seemed to have been drawing enough blood from the MDC… Hahahahah, sorry, I crack myself up!  I will miss China though… ever since I have started these blood transfusions I find myself loving a bit of Sweet and Sour Pork.  I‘ll also miss the Chinese massage I get from my boy… especially the “Happy Endings”!

June 12 – Royal Exposure

That nice man Charles Davy called again this morning… such a fine Zimbabwean patriot, it’s a shame he couldn’t be a little… well… more African-looking.  But, as I always try to say to that Tsvangirai traitor, ‘you can’t always get what you want’… hahahahaha, I’ve still got it.

Right, must keep it short.  My Small House (Mbeki) is popping over the border for a light supper.