June 9

The Re-Education programme (a.k.a.  “No Zimbabwean Left Behind”) continues apace.  I really don’t think people understand what an undertaking this kind of national benevolent project is… half a million voters need to be made to understood the error of their ways in just three weeks.  THREE weeks.  That’s 25,000 people to Re-Educate per week!!  Sheesh.
Made a note on the calendar:  16 June.  The SADC busy-bodies arrive.  No re-education to be performed that day.

June 8

Results are already piling in from the election in two weeks. I find myself truly humbled by the level of support that we have gained. A mandate of over 12 million votes, and we only have an electorate of 5.7 million! I can only guess that people feel so overwhelmed with positive feeling for my re-election as Father of the Nation that they decided to vote twice… How my people must love me. Which reminds me… Mental note: Must order that eight tonnes of Small Arms and Ammunitions from the Chinese. Mind like a sieve!

Later… I have just come up with another brilliant slogan for my PR guys – “Zanu PF: Vote Early! Vote Often!!”