June 20 – What is going on with Grace and Gideon?

I do wish that Grace wouldn’t dye her hair blonde.  She knows how much I hate it.  It reminds me of one of those British bimbos I so despise.  How can I rail against the imperialist flunkies when my wife looks like an imperialist floosie?


I said this to Gideon the other day and he said he found her hair quite fetching.  What is going on with those two?  I hope that Grace is not shopping around again.


I saw a nice young soldier during a parade today. I do like a man in uniform!!! I don’t know why am stressing about Grace.  There are other ways to be liberated.

June 19 – Saving me from Grace

The cleaners finally got out of here late this afternoon. I hate having them around, but the place was a bit of a tip after Thabo’s (aka ‘Little House’) birthday party yesterday.  He is an annoying little shit, but he is MY little shit!!!  Besides he is the only one that seems to save me from dining alone with Grace.  Goddamn that youthful trollop, with her imperialist hair, youthful, 44-year-old, ever-open legs and clothes that always smell of other men… urgh.  If I was thirty years younger…


Still, good news.  The MDC morons still think we want to negotiate.  Hahahahaha good old Thabo!

June 11 – No Shopping? Two can play at that game.

Heard today that that collar wearing, limey loving, Muppet Tutu has called for me to resign. What does that man want, peace and tranquility to break out across the country??!! What would I keep all my Defense Forces busy with? You know what they say; ‘Idle hands are the devil’s workshop!’ And if he thinks I am going to allow the blue helmets of the UN to interfere in Zimbabwe’s election- I’m the only one allowed to do that.


2pm – Just spoke to the Honorable Wang (China UN ambassador), there is no chance of UN involvement. And it only cost me (well, my country) 30 tons of tobacco, but what is a little lung cancer to protect my people from UN troops!!!


5pm – Grace has demanded another shopping spree in Europe. Good thing that I asked our German friend, Dr. Karsten Ottenberg, the CEO of Giesecke & Devrient (G&D) to print a few billion extra this month! Why couldn’t I marry a woman that liked Chinese shoes, Wang could get them plenty cheap!


Had to break the bad news to Grace (that’ll cost me!), the trip to Europe is off, the damned British Conservatives have introduced legislation in the European Parliament to arrest me if I enter the EU! Don’t those bastard English know, I only do these trips to keep ‘she who must be obeyed’ happy? Wait til the next time they want to take their Missuses shopping in Harare, I’ll make sure there is nothing in the shops for them to buy, oops, I’ve already done that!