June 21 – Dreaming of Hong Kong

Up before dawn as usual (4.00am), ever since I started having the Jing-Jang blood transfusions I can’t sleep past 10.00am Hong Kong time. I guess one benefit is that I have a few hours of peace before I have to suffer the dulcet tones of the misses!


Bummer to hear the news about my good friend Sir Martin Sorrell, some say he is a spin-doctor, but he is my ‘sangoma’. Still hope he’ll be able to finish running my campaign, the Bell has not finished tolling there! Besides, us little guys with Napoleonic complexes need to stick together.

June 15 – 100% Zimbabwe

Re-branding of the People’s Democratic Republic of Zimbabwe continues apace… Some imperialist lap-dog suggested that my slogan “100% Zimbabwe” wasn’t exactly ‘credible’.  Hogwash.  So what if Germans print our money, China makes our weapons and Brits do my PR????  This is exactly the kind of weak-kneed talk that saw poor old General Galtieri forced out by the whore of Grantham (Margaret Thatcher) 26 years ago…


Still, I relented and agreed to rebadge all the goods I’ve been picking up from China, Israel and North Korea “Made In Harare”…  A neat little trick I picked up from Wal-Mart (purveyor of quality discounted goods to the discerning evil invader).

Reminds me, must call Sir Martin Sorrell to say ‘thanks’ for all the help with our advertising and messaging.

Later:  I’ve decided to arrest Morgan again, just for yups.  Heh heh.  I told them all we wouldn’t capture him again and then… we did!  Brilliant!!!  My strategy is so refined, even I don’t know what I’m going to do next…


My New Song – The MDC Hokey Pokey

We put your right-hand (man) in…

We pull your right-hand (man) out…

In… Out… In… Out, we shake him all about

You do in Tendai Biti and you bury him in the ground

And that’s what it’s all about…  Hey!